"So, Dan doesn't say 'I love you'" I told Colleen.
"You guys haven't said 'I love you'? You've been going out for a year!"
"Actually, we've each said it once, at different times. But he tried to take his back and mine was kind of an 'I care for you'. Nothing momentous. So, no, we haven't really."
"Any particular reason?" she wondered
"Well, for the first 8 months we didn't take it very seriously since we didn't really know where it was headed and we both didn't think we had much in common. I mean we always got along well but it's hard to really get into a relationship that seems likely to end at a specific time. But then he was able to visit before he went to Mexico, and when he got the visa to work here for 3 months the mood of the relationship shifted a little. Basically, no one wanted to say it at all for the first the months, it didn't occur to either of us to want to. Actually I've heard it so many times, too soon that I was afraid he'd say it and I'd have to push him in a ditch and never talk to him again. But he didn't and here we are at 14 months feeling pretty good about where we are with each other." I sat back feeling sweet as a sunflower about the whole thing.
"But why don't you say it now?"
"Oh, well actually I wondered about that myself. I didn't say it because it didn't really seem necessary. I know I like him a lot and if I'm willing to even think of moving to another country then he knows it too. I like that we're not dramatic or serious and I sort of think saying it at this stage would ruin things a bit. But I know he's never said it to anyone so I asked him about it before he left. Actually his answer really got me thinking, I've been meaning to run it by you"
"Oh yeah?" she sat up, interested.
"Well he said he won't say 'I love you' to a girlfriend until he's engaged. It's like saving it for marriage. What do you think?" I asked
"Wow, what a novel idea. I've never heard of anyone doing that before, but it seems so obvious!"
"Yeah that's what I thought. I really liked his reasoning actually. People are often saying that the word love is bandied about too often, this seems like such a perfect solution. I tell you, if I ever get into another relationship I'm sticking to that ideal, I think it's great."
"I don't know how well some people would take it" she laughed, looking doubtful
"Well I'll know the guys that can't take it are not worth it, so it'll double as a sort of weeder. I like a level head in a companion and I don't want to say love to anyone and regret it later. It's win-win."
6 comments:
Firstly I actually told you I loved you twice, the other time was early on in Nelson and I used it as a sort of indicator, if you had paid even a minimal amount of attention to me and what sort or person I was, you would have known that I would have NEVER told you I loved you after about a month or two. The second point of contention is that I'm not waiting to get engaged to tell someone I love them, but in my book if you love someone, you have no doubt they are the one for you, and you will do anything to be with them. I think the fact I'm no longer living in Austin is a testament to that. I like ya, I REALLY REEEAAALLLY like ya, Im just not sure I want to marry ya......just yet.
Why all the pressure to say 'I love you'?
Why not 'Let the good times roll' or 'Keep truckin'', like my dad used to say?
Actually, my did would probably just say 'Can you bring me a pudding pop?'
Cibby, I have something I've been wanting to say for awhile now . . . now don't freak out on me, OK? You don't have to say it back, so it's not like there's any pressure or anything; it's just something I've been thinking. Here it is: I'm in love with your pixelated cartoon image.
I hope this doesn't make things weird.
Cibby, I have something that I've been wanting to tell...
Oh. Hey Zane.
Oh... no, this mix CD isn't for Cib. No, I mean, it has his name on it because it's music he might like, but, it's actually for, uh... it's for Meg!
Here ya go, Meg.
I love you.
ha!
if I were drinking chocolate milk, it'd be coming out my nose.
But I'm not drinking chocolate milk.
Then what is this brown liquid coming out my nose?
Don't take the brown coke!
Ah, whatever. You guys missed out by not going to Woodstock. There, you told girls that you loved them just to get them in the sack. Now there's rules about love. I pretty much just say it when it feels right ...
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