What we want and what we need
the two may intersect
but the feelings that direct us often veer off track
if you want it right this minute chances are
you shouldn't have
but you did it anyway and now it's emptiness, come back

Rushing to the point of your most urgent of needs
is disaster in the making
just needs the truth to intercede
Feel it all, wash it through you
why don't you sit and just be still
not as fun as making time with the confusion of desires' will.

Just a couple of sassy gals!

This is great, isn't it?
Living together
exercising together
double dates with cute men
cooking, not together but we share food on occasion.
Our cat...well it's not my cat
but it's allowed in my room
sometimes.
I get more sun.
Up til now, life has never been
this way.
not for me.
two women in their 30's
(ok just me. But almost you!)
living together
running around in sweet independence
turns out that this
is my definition of happiness.
Not forever but
right now, it's pretty damn good.

She asks "why so many cat pictures?"
Have you ever woken up
to a small, warm, squishy being
laying on your chest
it's face, centimeters from your own
soothing sounds, it's contentment assured
it's little limbs splayed but gripping
you, like a tiny invasive hug?
But in honesty, I think the creature is in my brain.
I am covered in it's hair.

same same but different

It's different when you're older

sex is

the excitement is still there but anxiety

it's not necessary and instead you find 

they know what they're doing

and so do you and

every one. is so. happy.

Adventures of Mullet Mom: On Turning 30

Adventures of Mullet Mom: On Turning 30: "Thirty, sounds dirty, like thirsty, 30 years, 30 hours, more than a day. 30 minutes to myself as sweetpea does her late nap thing. 30 breath..."

baby don't hurt me

Relationships. Nearly everyone is in one or wants to be in one and everyone goes about that so differently. It rests in the intention I guess. I have always gone into them quickly but with full force, giving a lot, wanting to give a lot, wanting...that intangible thing that I see my parents have. I tried to shape these relationships into "the one" without realizing it.

I'm more romantic than I thought.

Frustrated, I wondered if I even knew what that kind love was, if I could even recognize it, if it were even real or just something people fooled themselves into. Do I get a soulmate, if there is such a thing? Trying and trying to figure it out, breaking hearts, breaking my own heart along the way...what is love???

Eventually hitting the equivalent of rock bottom, feeling awkward and wooden around people, going completely crazy, letting my mind go into a rocketship roller coaster and generally spend the first part of my trip in Europe not knowing if I were sitting or standing up.

And then, Amsterdam.

Suddenly the skies clear and I find myself in a park, realizing I'm letting go of all these fears, of all these things I think I should be, how I should act, what a relationship is supposed to look like or how a partner is supposed to be or act. It sounds cheesy but I felt myself just filling up with love, my heart was full again.

and its fucking awesome.

"Your marriage partner is the only family member you get to choose and you expect me to make that precious choice based on superficial qualifications?"

so much nobility

"hiding your ex's on facebook is one of mankind's most noble pursuits"