Setting: A cd and record store in downtown Houston. Two 17 year old girls stand in the popular music section slowly sifting through cd's on a lazy sunday. One of the girls picks up Blood On The Tracks.


First girl: Oh I have this cd. It's really good, one of his best.

Second Girl: Whose best? (Takes the cd to read the musicians name) Whose Bob Die-lan?

First Girl: What! Did you just say Bob Die-Lan? Your parents listen almost exclusively to folk-rock! You know who Bob Dylan is!

Second Girl: (Unimpressed) Oh. yeah, I don't like his voice, he sounds like he might be retarded.

First Girl:(Throws up on second girls shoes)

Second Girl:(Learns a lesson in music and in friendship.)

My friend Amy was driving home yesterday when an SUV next to her began to change lanes without noticing that Amy was actually already occupying that space. In an act of self preservation Amy honked her horn. As the car swerved away a little girl the back seat (aged about 6 or 7) turned around and simultaneously stuck out her tongue and gave the bird* . Amy was traumatized. Parents: teach your kids not to be so God-Awful at life.







*The finger, flipped her off, said up yours in hand jive, stuck her middle finger up without any of the other fingers being up

A question of gains

My history teacher once told me that in any war or battle in History people often give moral reasons for thier beginnings, but in the end it is more important to see who gained from the war if you want to find out how it really began.
This idea came to me while I was thinking about the debate of global warming. Why do people believe that it isn't real? Credible people, scientists, politicians, teachers...etc will show you the research but still it is widely believed to be just an idea, and probably a wrong one. Like it's just hippy bullshit,stirring up trouble. If this is true then the important question to ask is who gains from the global warming idea?

Perhaps if Al Gore had become president I wouldn't have this terrible sinking feeling in my stomach.

I was at work one night when I heard the customer entrance open and close. I went to the front to wait on whoever might have entered but recognized immediately that they would not be buying anything.
Her skin was mottled and red from sun damage and neglect, her body was swollen and shook uncontrollably. Her hair clung to her head in patches. In her hand was a plastic cup and on her face a frozen look of sullen suprise. I felt a pang of worry, people like this could go off to a bad direction and I didn't want to be a around if she freaked. On the other hand, she was looking at me intensely and I hadn't said anything yet.
"How can I help you?" I said loudly, cheerfully
"WATER." she croaked "I NEED SOME WATER." She held out her shaking hand. I took the cup.
I filled and returned it. She held it and said nothing. I said nothing. I walked off to the side where my co-workers stood huddled, giggling fearfully.
I shrugged, playing it cool.
"What's she doing?" They asked
I checked through a peephole in the divider.
"Just kind of...standing there." I replied
Eventually we heard the door open and close again and saw her sit outside. We went back to work, the thrilling moment had passed.

30 minutes later----------

Mac was a film student. A man of bravado, he constantly reminded others of how good looking he was, how many famous people he knew all the films he was currently working on. "Feel my stomach" he'd say " I can lift 200 pounds over my head" he'd say "I'm so glad I'm good looking."

He walked in from a delivery having missed the crack lady event and went straight to work by the front entrance. I stood behind the divider packaging cookies for delivery while he talked about all the hot girls he'd seen while he'd been out. I heard the door open and close and looked up to see Mac turning to help the customer. His eyes went wide with fear and his jaw dropped.
"Uh..."
"CAN YOU BUY ME A COOKIE?" She said forcefully
He stood in shock for a moment longer "I uh, I'm s-sorry. I..I don't have any money." He jangled his pockets to show they were empty.
"OH" She continued to stare at him and stood awkwardly, unsure of what he should do. Eventually he turned back to what he'd been working on, shoulders hunched, while she watched.
My shoulders shook violently as I fell to the floor, laughing as quietly as possible.

For the rest of the night Mac would stop in the middle of a conversation, in the middle of work and his face would freeze in fear, her image haunting him.

"I have a plan for immigration. Allow every Mexican in. Make them join the military. Then invade Mexico and don’t have an exit strategy.”

Rich Voss

Drunken packing: really just throwing things on the floor.

Ceiling Cat

This might haunt you every day. Think about it. www.ceilingcat.com

This movie...it's not good

This New Yorker review of the third X-Men movie pretty much sums up how I felt after watching it.