Adventures of Mullet Mom: On Turning 30

Adventures of Mullet Mom: On Turning 30: "Thirty, sounds dirty, like thirsty, 30 years, 30 hours, more than a day. 30 minutes to myself as sweetpea does her late nap thing. 30 breath..."

baby don't hurt me

Relationships. Nearly everyone is in one or wants to be in one and everyone goes about that so differently. It rests in the intention I guess. I have always gone into them quickly but with full force, giving a lot, wanting to give a lot, wanting...that intangible thing that I see my parents have. I tried to shape these relationships into "the one" without realizing it.

I'm more romantic than I thought.

Frustrated, I wondered if I even knew what that kind love was, if I could even recognize it, if it were even real or just something people fooled themselves into. Do I get a soulmate, if there is such a thing? Trying and trying to figure it out, breaking hearts, breaking my own heart along the way...what is love???

Eventually hitting the equivalent of rock bottom, feeling awkward and wooden around people, going completely crazy, letting my mind go into a rocketship roller coaster and generally spend the first part of my trip in Europe not knowing if I were sitting or standing up.

And then, Amsterdam.

Suddenly the skies clear and I find myself in a park, realizing I'm letting go of all these fears, of all these things I think I should be, how I should act, what a relationship is supposed to look like or how a partner is supposed to be or act. It sounds cheesy but I felt myself just filling up with love, my heart was full again.

and its fucking awesome.

"Your marriage partner is the only family member you get to choose and you expect me to make that precious choice based on superficial qualifications?"

so much nobility

"hiding your ex's on facebook is one of mankind's most noble pursuits"

Dudes be warned

From the blog of Christopher Zane

RP had just finished a story about how a friend of his elected to live on the street after a bad breakup.

"Most men shouldn't be allowed to be single," I said. "Without women, it's an inevitable devolution into the lowest standard of living we allow ourselves. Before you know it your dinners consist of fistfuls of fajita chicken consumed in front of an open refrigerator while you're wearing your underwear."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"Yup."

avoidance

That uncomfortable feeling

we both have

Let's not force it, eh?

any more time spent

together

and we'll soon be fighting about,

God, who cares what...

but how you drive

and how I cook

most likely

"if you love me now this is only because you are not seeing the whole

of me (thinks the (Groucho)Marxist), and if you're not yet seeing the

whole of me it would be crazy to grow used to your love until such

time as you do"

-Alain DeBotton

what could be more

i'mportant

on a rainy day

when the sky has turned

against your plans

than staying here

drinking this hot tea

and watching this French film

that doesn't seem

to have

a point

Dead Christmas trees run down the street

Footprints crease the ice and sleet

Laughter sounds out to the night

Mouths wide open, eyes shine bright

Pine needles cling to hair bleached white

And wild mane, dark as night

Midnight gone and long forgotten

When glasses clinked and coats were brought in

To a moment one could not forget

A time when you felt infinite.

Meg Cusack, age 18